


15 Times ‘Reddie’ was Relationship Goals

by BayleyWinchester



Series: Richie + Eddie Become Gay Icons™ (it's weird but Richie loves it) [4]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Adult Losers Club (IT), Buzzfeed, Comedian Richie Tozier, Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Fluff and Crack, Happy, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier's Stand Up Act
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BayleyWinchester/pseuds/BayleyWinchester
Summary: Buzzfeed @buzzfeed15 times Reddie (Riche Tozier & Eddie Kasprak for those who haven’t been online in almost a year) was Relationship Goals™.Richie Rich ✔️ @trashmouth Replying to @buzzfeedI don’t know what any of those words mean.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Richie + Eddie Become Gay Icons™ (it's weird but Richie loves it) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560019
Comments: 35
Kudos: 904





	15 Times ‘Reddie’ was Relationship Goals

**Author's Note:**

> It's a ,,,, buzzfeed article 
> 
> Merry X-mas tho

**15 Times Reddie was Relationship Goals**

They truly are better than all of us. 

(TW: Mentions of past abuse and implied past abuse in point 9.)

  1. The tweet that started it all:



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

We’re having a gay old time

[Picture of Richie and Eddie in a side hug, both of them have dead-pan faces and have one thumb up. Behind them is a rainbow flag hung up on the wall]

  1. That one time that Edward summed up their relationship:



**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

Richie is the dirtiest motherfucker I know. Not in a sexual way, he’s just dirty. He never does any laundry and I don’t think he owned a vacuum cleaner until I moved in with him. I love him though.

  1. When Richie replied with his side of it all: 



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

This dude makes me wash my hands like eighteen times a day and likes to wipe down restaurant tables before we sit down. I also have to vacuum every day now (he was right about me rush ordering a vacuum). Love him tho. 

  1. When we got a look at their childhood: 



**Beverly Marsh** ✔️ **@Marsh**

Young gays vs old gays

[Two pictures sit side by side. The first one is a polaroid held by someone with bright red nails. Richie and Eddie are sitting in a hammock with their legs entangled. Eddie is wearing bright red shorts and a polo shirt and Richie has a purple and gold tartan shirt on over a dirty Star Wars t-shirt. They’re both flipping the camera off but are smiling at each other. The second photo has similar outfits and the same pose as the first but they are now adults and sitting on a sofa.]

  1. When they showed everyone how to get gifts for their S.O.:



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

Yes, I did get my boyfriend my own merch as a gift. It’s so he doesn’t forget me when 

I go away! Very thoughtful.

**Stan Uris @StanUris Replying to @trashmouth**

First off, fuck you. Secondly, what kind of merch did you get him? 

**Richie Rich** ✔️  **@trashmouth Replying to @StanUris**

A keychain with my face on it and a t-shirt with my face on it that says ‘I love Trash’.

**Stan Uris @StanUris Replying to @trashmouth**

Bet he loves it. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️  **@trashmouth Replying to @StanUris**

He’s still complaining about it but the keychain is on his keys and he wears the shirt all the time.

**Stan Uris @StanUris Replying to @trashmouth**

What did he get you? 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @StanUris**

Tickets to a comedy show near our house so that I can “learn how to be funny”

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

A very thoughtful gift. 

  1. Richie talking about his BF on Seth Meyers’ talk show? We swooned: 



**CLICK HERE TO PLAY VIDEO**

Richie is sitting on a sofa next to Seth Meyers, he’s taking a sip out of a mug while the audience and Seth laughs. He puts the mug down and grins at the audience who are starting to stop laughing. Richie pretends to tip a hat that he is not wearing and the laughter picks back up. Seth stops laughing and proceeds to calm the audience down. He shakes his head at Richie who shrugs innocently. “Moving on, I feel like I should congratulate you on almost one year with your boyfriend!” The audience cheers again. 

“That’s what he says,” Richie nods. “See, I like to think that we were actually together for 35 years.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That’s way nicer.”

Seth laughs, “wasn't he married?”

“Sure,” Richie nods causing the audience to laugh. “But he’s getting divorced so who cares?”

“How’s that going?”

Richie laughs and shakes his head, “she called me trash and when I pointed out that’s my brand she threw her purse at me and asked Eddie why he was with me. Eddie, bastard man he is, just shrugged! But it should be over soon.” 

“Does this mean you two will tie the knot?” The audience cheers loudly, someone screams out that they need to hurry. Richie finger guns at the audience. “I think everyone wants you to.” 

“We’re going to get married as soon as we can. It’s this odd place where we’re not engaged but both are very aware that marriage is happening. We’re not great at the whole communicating thing. I mean, we try. But see, we know each other so well that we don’t tell each other what we’re going to do, we just do. For example, he moved in with me without asking me. But I was going to ask and he knew that. Only reason I call him my boyfriend and not my fiance is because, actually two reasons, first it annoys him. Secondly, because I never got to call him my boyfriend.”

“That’s very sweet. Kind of weird, but sweet.”

Richie laughs, “that’s how everyone describes our relationship. We’re fucked but we love each other. And we fuck.”

“Keep it PG please.” 

“When it comes to Eds? I don’t know how. Never have, used to piss everyone aside from Bev off.” 

“Beverly Marsh?” Seth clarifies and Richie nods. “Why didn’t it annoy her?” 

He laughs and shakes his head fondly, “we were eleven and she found it just as funny as I did. We’re two peas in a pod. Stan always liked to complain but he liked it as well.”

“Well, I haven't meet Stan but Beverly is an amazing person. I can see why you two were friends.”

“We were friends because no one else wanted to be our friends,” Richie replies, very seriously. 

Seth laughs, “is that’s the only reason?” 

“We fought a demon clown together. It makes you tight.”

“Are you referring to Henry Bowers?”

“Sure. I would make sexual and gross jokes at Eds’ expense because I love him and she would laugh. Ben and Mike would get uncomfortable and Bill and Stan would get annoyed but they were used to it by then.” 

“Eleven-year-old Richie sounds like a handful.”

Richie nods, “he was. If you think I’m trashy now you should have seen me back then.”

“But you and Eddie have been together for almost a year now, which is awesome. And that means that it’s been about six months since you came out. How’s that going?”

Richie shrugs, “I mean. Better than I thought. I wasn’t sure about coming out but Eddie wanted to. He never said that but I could tell that he didn’t want to hide who he was anymore and that gave to meet the confidence boost that I needed to come out myself. And, honestly, I don’t think there’s enough home-a-phobia in the world that would make me regret it. I get to gush about my boyfriend and not some made-up chick.”

“I’m glad.”

“Nothing, not even God himself, could stop me from tweeting about my B-F’s butt.”

“You do tweet about it a lot.”

“Just doing my part for the country.” 

**VIDEO END**

  1. This tweet. I can’t: 



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

This asshole is the sole reason that I am happy. 

[A picture of Eddie sitting in a bed frowning at an Ipad, wearing clothes that are clearly too big for him and have Richie’s aesthetic]

7A. Bonus: The replies. 

**Stan Uris @StanUris Replying to @trashmouth**

Fuck me then. 

**Beverly Marsh** ✔️  **@Marsh Replying to @trashmouth**

Glad to know that it’s only Eddie. Not like I went into that fucking sewer as well or listened to you rant about your ‘un-requited crush’ on Eddie for hours. 

**Bill Denbrough** ✔️ **@BDenbrough** **Replying to @trashmouth**

Sole reason? Well okay then. 

**Mikey @MikeHanlon89 Replying to @trashmouth**

I get that you love him and stuff but this hurts. 27 years man and then I see this?

**Ben H** ✔️  **@benhanscome Replying to @trashmouth**

Ouch to us. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Blocked and reported. 

  1. Asdfghjkl:



**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

You guys keep asking if I actually like Richie. Why the fuck would I be with him if I didn’t love him? 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Pity?

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Hmmm actually 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Wait no I take it back pls don’t pity date me 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Time to break up then

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Nooooooo don’t break up with me, you’re too sexy ahahahaha

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

I’m going to murder you in your sleep. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Nooooooo don’t kill me, you’re too sexy ahahahahaha

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

I beg you to shut up. Just this once. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

No. Anyway: Eddie is sexy and I love him. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Gross. Anyway: Richie is sexy and I love him. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

I’ve died and gone to heaven. He actually did it. He killed me.

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Do you know how many germs are on a dead body? I’d never. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Eds, baby, you were stabbed in a sewer. My dead body has nothing on that. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Please don’t remind me of that. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

But do you actually think I’m sexy? 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️  **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

;)

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Don’t do that if you ever want to have sex again. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

brb deleting that tweet. 

**Stan Uris @StanUris Replying to @trashmouth**

That’s the sound of a whipped man. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @StanUris**

Yeah 

  1. When THIS live happened: 



**CLICK HERE TO PLAY VIDEO**

The video has clearly been shot on a phone and is in portrait mode. The picture on the screen is of Richie Tozier, shot from the front camera. He’s got a stripe of flour across his face and is grinning. Whitney Houston is playing in the background, loudly. He does a peace sign before flipping the camera around. It’s now focusing on a modern kitchen which is covered in ingredients, bowls and different utensils. There are multiple packets of chocolate sitting on the side and there’s chocolate sauce on the wall. Eddie Kasprak is standing in the kitchen with a pink and frilly apron on that says ‘kiss the cook!’. He’s laughing and waving a whisk around in time with the song. 

“Did you know that I love you?” Richie asks. Eddie nods his head. “Good. Because I do.”

“Did you know that I never got to bake before this?” 

“But you’re so good!” Richie exclaimed in mock disbelief. The camera pans over to where three batches of deformed cupcakes (or something that look like cupcakes) lay. “I would have never guessed!”

Eddie just laughs again. “I have a good feeling about this one! I added extra chocolate!”

“What happened to my ‘healthy-living-is-important-Richie-you-dumbass’ boyfriend?” 

“I just wanted some chocolate. And you like chocolate!” 

Richie walks over to Eddie as he answers. “I do like chocolate, a lot.” The camera is jostled as Richie leans down to kiss Eddie’s forehead. 

“I wasn’t allowed to have chocolate very often in New York. And baking wasn't allowed ever.” 

“You can have all the chocolate you want here! And because you look really cute I won’t make the obvious Mike joke that’s there.” 

“Thank God.” 

They both laugh and kiss again. Eddie notices the camera, frowns in confusion and then in anger before reaching up to begin hitting Richie with the whisk. Richie is laughing as he runs away, Eddie chasing him and trailing batter behind him. The camera is turned to the front again and Richie grins, winks and then ends the live as Eddie begins to yell at him. 

9A. And we can’t forget the follow up:

**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

Cute video. I don’t look like a mess or anything. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

A cute mess tho <3

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

<3

**Mikey @MikeHanlon89 Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Where you actually not allowed chocolate, Eddie? 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @MikeHanlon89**

Only on special occasions. 

**Mikey @MikeHanlon89 Replying to @EddieKasprak**

I’m sorry.

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @MikeHanlon89**

It’s fine now. Look how much chocolate I just went through. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

You’re allowed all the chocolate you want now (but not Mike because that would make me sad).

9B: Some bonus Beneverly content for you guys:

**Beverly Marsh** ✔️  **@Marsh**

Y’all: Richie doesn’t care about what Eddie went through 

Me (and Ben): Richie is absolutely cuddling the shit out of Eddie as we speak. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @Marsh**

I am well aware that Ben does the exact same thing to you so don’t @ me 

**Beverly Marsh** ✔️  **@Marsh Replying to @trashmouth**

Fair.

  1. True love:



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

Eds just got a call and it was his boss back in NYC apparently the replacement they hired is pure shit and they want Eds back because he’s the best. Eddie replied with the following: you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to NYC. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @trashmouth**

So I asked if he would go to NYC if I got on SNL again or something like that. And he replied: well, that’s not going to happen because you’re not funny but yeah, ‘cause I love you or whatever. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @trashmouth**

I’m like 98% sure this is what true love is. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Only 98%

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Ben bought Bev a boat and named it after a poem he wrote her when they were kids

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Are you implying that we’re only 98 because I haven’t bought you a boat? 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

I am.

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

I’ll buy you a boat using your money because I don’t have a job and then name it ‘idiot’. Inspired my affectionate nickname for you. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

101% 

  1. Can we all just say that we stan?:



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

This is what love is?

[In the first attached picture Eddie is sitting on the sofa, the picture is taken from behind and on the TV is Richie’s face in one of his earlier movies. The second picture is a selfie that features both Eddie and Richie, behind them is a different movie that Richie co-started in.]

  1. This ... Interaction? It’s weird but it’s them and we love it: 



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

Someone help me convince my love that we need to get a Pomeranian. My pros list include the following: Slutty dog costumes. My cons list include this: both of us have frequent nightmares where a demon Pomeranian tries to kill us based on a real-life experience that we had.

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

Fuck you. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Please do. And then after we will go and buy a dog. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

I already live with one demon thank you very much. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @EddieKasprak**

That took you a sad amount of time to get Rich. 

**Beverly Marsh** ✔️  **@Marsh Replying to @EddieKasprak**

Are you two together right now? 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @Marsh**

Of course, we are. Anyway, dog, Marsh? 

**Beverly Marsh** ✔️  **@Marsh Replying to @trashmouth**

Well, you both cried in fear last time you saw a pomeranian so I'm saying no. BUT slutty dog costumes are a win for you. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

IF we did get a dog you are not getting her a slutty dog costume 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

It was going to be designer. I’m a good dog dad. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

No dog. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((( #letrichiebeadogdad 

**Ben H** ✔️  **@benhanscome Replying to @trashmouth**

Perhaps a baby? 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @benhanscome**

Richie as a dad? 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

I’d suck. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

You’re crazy. You’d be the best dad ever. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

LET ME BE A DOG DAD EDDIE

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

YOU ARE ALSO AFRAID OF DOGS RICHIE

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

ONLY POMERANIANS 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO LOOK AT IT WITHOUT SEEING NOT SCARY

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

ITS EXPOSURE THERAPY 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

NO

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth Replying to @EddieKasprak**

nvm everyone i just looked at a pomeranian and had to do some breathing exercises with eds so maybe it’s not a great idea. 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

If only he listened to me in the first place.

12A. And the follow up is just as weird:

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

Fuck clowns, I want a dog 

_ Liked by @EddieKasprak, @benhanscome, @Marsh, @StanUris, @BDenbrough, @MikeHanlon89 and 89K others _

  1. These contrasts are just *chef kisses*:



**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

Rat Man

[A very nice picture of Richie at an award show is attached. He is wearing a tailored suit and smiling softly. It is a professional photo but is not edited.]

**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

Love of my life

[A blurry photo of Richie in the car is attached. Only half of Richie is visible and he is yelling while clutching the steering wheel. A light shines in from his window which makes it even harder to see him.]

  1. Poor Eddie (what I wouldn’t give to be Eddie …) 



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

[Two screenshots are attached. Richie is texting ‘Spaghetti Head <3!!!’. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:34pm): Please bring me a snack. 

Richie (10:35pm): Alrighty 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:35pm): Food, not you’re dick. 

Richie (10:37pm): DAMNNN. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:38pm): Well, I’m hungry and you’re disappointing. 

Richie (10:39pm): Comprise (key to a happy marriage) I’ll bring both. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:40pm): we’re not married. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:41pm): Bring me my Oreos Richie. 

Richie (10:42pm): Then sex. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:42pm): Then sex. 

Richie (10:44pm): Teenage Richie would have passed out. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:45pm): Riche where are my Oreos? 

Richie (10:46pm): Oh for fucks sake I am literally walking upstairs right now. 

Spaghetti Head <3!!! (10:47pm): I can hear you, elephant.]

14A. We can’t forget about this:

**Edward K @EddieKasprak Replying to @trashmouth**

I don’t think I can ever forgive you for posting these. 

**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

He’ll forgive me 

**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

He’s forgiven. 

  1. And the sweetest moment has to go to these two matching tweets that were tweeted after the news of their relationship started dying down:



**Richie Rich** ✔️ **@trashmouth**

Love you Eds

**Edward K @EddieKasprak**

Love you, Rich

In conclusion: Stan Reddie. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wzUwg4KMMH9v0ulMCuTex?si=-SHwjn0MQcOvQ4XaQRCqfA)
> 
> Time for a shameless self-promo! 
> 
> [My Reddie + It Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/edtozier89)  
> [My Writing Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fanfictionwriter101)  
> 


End file.
